Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Rufus T. Firefly

OK. Have purchased aborted first season of Joss Whedon's Firefly after falling in love with Serenity a few weeks ago.

Just to be clear ...

When I saw the movie, I didn't know the movie was picking up where a dead TV series had left off. I hadn't watched the gorram series. I knew it was a cowboys in space show. Thus, I knew it would suck intergalatic donkey dong. In advance. So didn't watch it.

See, here's the deal.

I hate "cowboys in space" on a basic conceptual level.

Science fiction (SF) should be science fiction. I.e.: SOMETHING OTHER. Something outside human experience. Not the same everyday crap blown up against the hurricane fence of our everyday, shitty lives, only projected into space or other dimensions.

Which is basically all Lost in Space did ...

Department stores in space! Hippies in space! Juvenile delinquents in space! Pirates in space! Cowboys in space!

Fuck that shit. You want another shitty example of cowboys in space? Do we need another fucking Outland? The abomination of desolation itself?

Gee, High Noon was a great western movie. Here's an original fucking idea. Let's adapt it as a shitty science fiction movie! Yeah! Howzabout we set it in SPACE? With bounty hunters running around with six-shooters blasting holes in pressurized glass with an asteroid -- AND PURE VACUUM -- on the other side.

Outland Peter Hyams says "Behold, nothing up my sleeve. I will now pull a science fiction movie -- out of my ass!"

The audience gasps ...

It's High Noon in Space! Wow! How did he do that?

Eaagghhhhhhhhh!

There is nothing, nothing that could possibly EVER get me to watch a cowboys in space movie or TV show without projectile vomiting.

But Joss Whedon did. He created a fucking WESTERN IN SPACE. And I actually liked the bloody thing. How the hell did he do it?

I don't know you. So far, I've just seen the movie. I'll get back to you on that one.

After I watch the gorram TV series.

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