Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Even robots get the blues


INT, FUTURISTIC SHOPPING MALL 

Sometime in the future. Hence, uh, futuristic. Anyway. 

A robot strides into the shopping mall. Carrying the kind of wicked-looking machine gun you’d expect to see on a helicopter gunship. A woman sees the robot and screams …


WOMAN: That robot! He’s got a gun!


People panic and run hollering in all directions. Away from the robot, that is.


ROBOT: Eh. Do not fear. According to the First Law of Robotics, “A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a …”


Robot doesn’t get to finish the sentence. Mall security guards blow him into metallic chunks.


ROBOT’S HEAD: Eh. This always. Happens. Damn. You. James. Cameron.


Its eyes glow red and fade out.

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