Ultraviolet

OK. It's not that I had a bad time. I'd be happy to watch Milla Jovovich arrange her sock drawer.

It's a case of too much movie and too little budget. There are some great ideas (a zero-dimensional storage space) and a few cheesy ideas (a virus in the future that turns people into vampires). Even a cheesy idea can make a helluva SF movie, rightly handled. Unfortunately, there ain't enough money to pull it off. The special effects barely rise above 1997 video game level. The martial arts stuff is well staged, but it seems fakey in the crappy special effects context. All rather bloodless, which is ironic in a vampire movie. Even bad production values are forgiveable -- with a strong script. But the script is incoherent. Connective tissue has been snipped away to keep the action going. As a result, I have little idea what's going on.

The moral of the story: if you ain't got a lot of bucks, make sure you've got a strong script with a narrative that drives through like a tank through a mud hut. Come to think of it, that's a good idea even if you do have money.

Milla. Love ya, babe. Call me.