We were schooner-rigged and rakish with a long and lissom hull

This just in. Pirates seized a Ukrainian cargo ship loaded with T-34 Russian tanks and other fun toys off the coast of Somalia. For a $30 million dollar ransom, the Russkies can have it back.

Now, you know ...

You open up the newspaper ...

And the headline is: PIRATES SEIZE CARGO SHIP ...

PIRATES????

Pirates? Freaking pirates?

Goddamnit, I remember triumphant essays by do-gooder types who said things like "We ended slavery and piracy in the 19th century. We can end hunger and war in the 20th century."

Now it's the 21st century. Hunger and war are still with us. And PIRATES are back, along with human trafficking.

Har, matey.

Har.