Thursday, September 6, 2001

Michael Jackson: Rebranded

Is it my imagination, or is somebody spending a shitload of money to rehabilitate Michael Jackson? The evidence, if you'll pardon the expression, is mounting.

Seth Green shows up on The Daily Show with a Michael Jackson t-shirt. Not that I watched the fucking MTV music awards, but I saw coverage of same on two seperate fake news channels. Evidently, the sexless, ageless groingrabber made an appearance behind NSYNC. In both cases, the chattering blonde talkinghead babe referred to him as "The King of Pop." (In fact, come to think of it, that "King of Pop" phrase has been coming up repeatedly, lotsa little references here and there. Maybe I'm a chucklehead, but I don't actually remember hearing anybody refer to him as the King of Pop during the actual 1980s.) Not to mention some Gen-XYY Chromosome Band doing a cover of one of his songs. Not to mention some blurb I half caught on a zapped-through VH-1 plugging some kinda contest (Make your own music video! Michael Jackson will pick the winners!) in which the weiner gets to go to Childhumper Ranch, which is to say, Neverland Ranch with Michael. Second tube of KY jelly to the right and straight on 'til morning.

And no I don't think it's my imagination.

Forgive me for stating the obvious (I think not-stating-the-obvious is a kind of defense mechanism, like a cyst, sealing off more and more areas of our culture from satire, attention, thought) but Michael J. represents a ton of product. The machine says it's necessary to push this product, even if it means pushing the surgically altered mutant. The machine says "Rich Chocolaty Goodness, Rich Chocolaty Goodness" over and over so many times until we think that chocolate-covered cotton is cotton candy. We take it and we eat it and Milo Minderbinder goes to the bank. I know y'all know that, but I said it anyway.

I'm just pissed.

1 comment:

Marty Fugate said...

Dead reference #1: The "Gen-XYY Chromosome Band" I was referring to was Alien Ant Farm. The Michael Jackson cover song was "Smooth Criminal."